my mother never removed her wisdom teeth

when the left side of my jaw aches, i think of her

i wonder how much of that pain is shared between us

and how much is just for me

but my mother knows my pain, she knows it well and protected it

it became a pearl,

now someone else will wear it around their neck

the woman of my home country are taught young,

what it means to love without home

how to navigate a minefield with closed eyes

before learning to breathe 



with each passing year i become more aware of

what the men in my family are capable of

i was consumed, recently

a realization,

i never look at my lover’s writing

until after i have completely destroyed them

despite them knowing that they must swallow a bomb

& let it tick

to be by my side



i read something,

a farewell addressed to a memory

something about how gentle he was,

suddenly,

my body remembers the sensation of seafoam

& i think about how

every kiss i have received

must have been a gift

from a faith i found

in a high school parking lot

what bravery

i was loved,

a boy lost at sea

only for me to repay it

with a set of tears

that repeat every winter

a reminder,

that you grab the blade by the hilt



& only the hilt